Well, hellooooo everyone! It has been forever since I posted anything, but I will just dive right in even though the water feels a bit nippy right now.
[Warning- personal stuff ahead. Feel free to skip ahead to the pretty pictures. Believe me, I will understand!!]
The title of my post - a year of rebuilding. 2012 was the opposite of a year of rebuilding. 2012 was a year of breaking down what no longer worked and figuring out who I am. You'd think I'd know that already at 40 (now almost 41) but somehow I needed to revisit everything to decide "what was in and what was out" (channeling Heidi Klum.) The decisions kept evolving and they are still evolving now, as I believe they always should. I think my biggest mistake is that I forgot that I always SHOULD be thinking about what works and what doesn't and stop situations from getting out of control that no longer work.
Anyway, that is where I've been in 2012. I moved to the city from the suburbs (and moved again to another larger apartment in the same building in the same year), lost the second of my two 18-year old cats, my parents moved to another state to officially retire, I got divorced, got back into the dating world, met a great guy, and had back surgery. All in one year. Now for 2013, I have to build on what I have and make up for lost time (and money, etc. etc.)
My biggest decision right now is whether to live in my suburban house again (redoing it from the ground up - not structurally, but practically everything else, so it feels like an entirely new place) or rent it out. There are pluses and minuses on both sides. I have a leaning toward living in it right now (maybe it's driven by too much perusal of the Restoration Hardware catalog) but I have to assess whether I can make the house feel different enough that it is "me", and "me" as I am now, not the "me" that was lonely and isolated. I think redoing it and making it truly my own might be therapeutic, but the old feelings are strong.
Financially, moving back is the best decision I could make, as being a landlord isn't the easiest thing, involves some risks (both of not renting the place and having to pay the mortgage anyway while not living in it, and of people ruining the place) and also because it is much less expensive on a monthly basis to live there than it is for me to live in my new penthouse apartment and I would have more money for starting to travel again and just doing things in general. The rental market here is much stronger than the sale market, so selling the house is not a great option.
So anyway, life is overall better than it's been in a long time because I am living an authentic life of my own choosing, but it's still a work in process and the price of my freedom was a bit higher than I would have hoped. It's worth it though! (Two words I need to remember. Prenuptial agreement. When you're younger and not so weathered by the world, this sounds overly harsh and unoptimistic. When you've been through a battle royal from hell over the course of an entire year, you understand the rationale. And that's all I'm going to say about that. I'm rebuilding.)
So how about a finished project? It's just on the dress form, and just another Kwik Sew 3489 wrap dress, but it's documentation of actual sewing taking place. I sewed three dresses in the last few days, after a long sewing hiatus, and have been knitting a few projects as well.
Just for fun, here's a few pics of my newest place, which I may be moving from soon.
It is very nice, as you can see. It would be fun to stay for the summer and enjoy the large outdoor space. But living here means I have to become a landlord, and spend a bigger percentage of my $ on housing. Is it worth it? I'm still figuring it out.
Posted with Blogsy
Happy 2013, Robin! It's nice to see things are moving forward for you. That is some amazing penthouse apt! I'm sure after lots of meditation and focusing on what YOU want, you'll arrive at the best decision for you. You've done it once already, so I have faith you'll do it again!
Posted by: Kristine | January 04, 2013 at 07:26 AM
Ahhh so glad you're back! Beautiful place! I love all that outdoor space!
Posted by: Jenni | January 04, 2013 at 08:40 AM
So nice to see you back! Hope 2013 is all you want it to be and more!
Posted by: Kerry | January 04, 2013 at 09:20 AM
Welcome back!
Posted by: Kali | January 04, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Nice to see your blog again, Robin! Best wishes for an amazing 2013!
Posted by: Bonnie | January 04, 2013 at 11:35 AM
I'm so glad to hear from you! I hear you with the housing situation - I'm still renting out the condo where we used to live. We only live a few blocks away, so we manage it ourselves, but if it were further I would hire a management company to take care of things. You just have to think about what will make you happy - living somewhere, I always think, isn't just about the property. You also buy a lifestyle that goes along with the location.
I'm sorry you had such a difficult start to 2012, but it sounds like things are looking up now. Happy new year!
Posted by: Jessica | January 04, 2013 at 11:54 AM
It's great to see you blogging again. I hope 2013 will be a year for further growth, self-realization, happiness and great health!
Miss you. XOXO
Posted by: Rosie | January 04, 2013 at 01:24 PM
Do what makes you the happiest Robin! Just make sure you are always moving onward and upward!
Posted by: Melanie | January 04, 2013 at 05:36 PM
*bunny hugs* of comfort. The month before I turned 40 was when I left my former marriage. It was the best decision I ever made for myself and I know like a phoenix, you will rise up to a refreshed and more relaxed self. Call me if you ever need an ear. <3
Posted by: Kimberly | January 04, 2013 at 06:50 PM
Wishing you all the best for 2013! I am not only knitting, but I have also started sewing again. I going to purchase this pattern and try it!
Great job on walking to work, very inspiring.....
Posted by: Sheryl | January 04, 2013 at 06:57 PM
Welcome back to the blogosphere, and I hope that 2013 will be a great year!
My theory is, never sell a house unless you need to because you never know when you might need one. (Then again, I live in Silicon Valley where housing prices always seem to climb). If you can break even by renting the house, I say do that and you can hire a property manager to deal with the details. If you find that your apartment costs too much, maybe you can compromise by staying in the neighborhood but finding a cheaper place.
Posted by: betty | January 04, 2013 at 09:20 PM
Lots of changes. Just keep moving forward. I gotta say, the current place looks stupendous, but if the old place can be revamped and you save money, I would lean towards that. And you could have a sewing room, a knitting room, a treadmill room......oh and a guest room! So if I ever get off my duff I would have somewhere to stay ;)
Posted by: Carol | January 04, 2013 at 10:16 PM
So glad to hear from you Robin! I have missed your posts. 2012 was a terrible year for a lot of us, but 2013 is going to be much better!
Your apartment is really gorgeous, but you'll know which living space will suit you best. Which is closest to your friends, and your support network? I think that plays a big factor in staying happy and well, when our friends are in closer proximity.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your other kitty. Maybe once you are settled, it will be the right time to find a new furry companion, but no rush. ((hugs))
Posted by: Debby | January 04, 2013 at 10:53 PM
Okay, so you just made me almost cry. I separated from my husband of 17 yrs on 1st November. You will know exactly what I am living through at the moment. I'm looking forward to 2013 but my major goal is to survive and get my life on a new footing. Also hoping to grow my wardrobe with my me mades.
Posted by: Clever Blonde- Donna G | January 05, 2013 at 08:53 AM
Oops hit Post instead of Preview: I hope 2013 is awesome for you as you grow the real you.
Posted by: Clever Blonde- Donna G | January 05, 2013 at 08:55 AM
Great to see you blogging again! Hope 2013 is a great year for you!
Posted by: Michelle B | January 05, 2013 at 09:21 AM
2012 was a challenging year for sure. Glad you are "doing you" for lack of a better expression. I'm glad you've had some sewing time. I have been really bad in that area lately.
Posted by: Susan - Knitters Delight | January 06, 2013 at 03:25 PM
I want to echo everyone else's sentiments and say welcome back to the blogosphere. I've always enjoyed following you and your projects. You really are inspiring. I hope that you continue to thrive in your new life. What an exciting time for you.
Happy New Year!
Betsy Kleger
Posted by: Betsy K | January 07, 2013 at 04:32 PM
Happy New Year! Delighted to have you back. Each day will get better with time.
Posted by: Bev | January 13, 2013 at 02:03 PM
I'm so glad to see you back in the blogging world. I'm sorry to hear 2012 was such a tough year but I hope that 2013 will be gloriously happy and satisfying for you! So happy sewing and happy knitting!!
Posted by: Leslie | January 17, 2013 at 03:44 PM